From early in my childhood, I was quiet. I didn’t want to speak much – to anyone. It didn’t mean I had nothing to say, I just never wanted to say them.
As I grew up, I realized other people beginning to succeed when I was overlooked. If I said something, it somehow was not as valued or absorbed as the more vocal people of my age. I often felt invisible, which was my preference, but my preferences were now costing me opportunities.
If you’re an introvert, chances are people watching is a common hobby. Well, that’s exactly what I did to start improving my sociability. I watched more social people interact with others for years, and I mimicked various behaviors simply to see how people might react to me.
While many behaviors worked, they didn’t feel right to me. Well, they all didn’t feel right, but they were some more tolerable than others.
The World Isn’t Made for Introverts
It’s true. Louder, social, and more talkative people are more of the accepted norm than introverts.
First, I want to explain what I mean by introvert and extrovert. To give a better explanation, Gary Drevitch puts it best in his 2021 article, “The Unexplored Differences Between Introverts and Extroverts.”
“… we typically associate introversion with being quiet and extroversion with being sociable. But that’s only part of the story. At its core, introversion-extroversion is about how our behaviors deplete or bolster our energy levels. Introversion-extroversion is also about how we process information, not just whether we share thoughts out loud.”
So this next piece of advice is for my more shy introverts.
Speak up: In the Background
MAN, I get sooo tired of hearing this advice. Honestly, this advice is typically more for shy introverts of which I am not anymore.
So this time I will not just tell you why you need to speak up, but I’m going to give my fellow shy introverts tips on how to speak up.
You need to speak up, be heard, be persistent, and confident to be regarded with respect in most cases. To make our specific situation harder is 1) the stigma with our job titles, 2) our profession is female-dominated.
Most often, your co-workers might assume you won’t say anything in meetings after a while, and won’t remember to include you. They get used to this expectation, and this often makes it harder to change their impression of you and your role in the workplace.
The stereotype of administrative assistants and administrative support professionals is one of submissiveness. So the combination of these factors seems to work against you in the workplace.
However, with the growing amount of responsibilities being placed on administrative support professionals, speaking up is crucial to our individual success.
There are very few resources that talk about administrative professionals speaking up and even fewer resources that talk about how introverted administrative support professionals can succeed.
Why is it important for administrative support professionals to speak up?
is helpful sometimes – for everyone.
I mean, it’s obvious why. Still, speaking up can be a gamble, even if you’re not an introvert.
Our position sits right in the middle of the desired goals and reality. We take the hopes of our managers and make them possible. Every day. That’s HUGE.
Therefore, speaking up, whether in meetings or elsewhere, is incredibly important in order to accomplish the organization’s big picture. You really need to understand and believe that. Your contributions are important, even though they may seem small.
On another equally, if not more important point, you need to speak up for yourself. Something as simple as speaking can help people realize that you’re part of the actual team, not just an observer. You establish that you’re not a pushover, have thoughts and opinions, and are confident to express them when necessary.
This soft power tactic can help establish your presence in the minds of your colleagues, manager, and organization.
Feeling like you’re part of the team and that you’re heard is important for our level of satisfaction in our job. Doing this can only increase your buy in and sense of value and worth in your job.
Tips to Successfully Dominate Any Administrative Assistant Job as an Introvert
While these tips can work for everyone. The lens I’ll be viewing these tips through will be for introverts, especially the shy extroverts. I still use these tips everyday to help me “be present” in meetings and in social situations.
Tip #1: Consider Communication a Skill
Tweak your mindset.
Communication is simply a skill. Not every extrovert is an excellent communicator (I know you’re surprised). We all need skills, both hard and soft skills, to do our job. Communication is simply one of them.
To harness this skill, like anything else, you have to practice it. Keep trying it little by little, and you’ll find the impact much larger than you expected.
One of my concerns while practicing this skill was that I wasn’t being authentic, but speaking up doesn’t mean I’m not an introvert. It simply means I’m an introvert who will speak up, and have become so practiced that it seems natural.
That’s a good thing.
Tip #2: Make a Sound
Let’s face it – introverts are pros at being invisible. That’s our superpower. We love being able to harness this power for socially awkward good, but it definitely doesn’t help us “market ourselves.”
Reminding people you’re in the room is typically not what you would normally do, but this isn’t a casual social outing. It’s work – so work.
In this case, to “work” is simply to make a sound. Make an audible sound of agreement or disagreement. I’m not a shy introvert, so I feel like the ability to make a sound is easier. The point is purely to give a sign that you are actively taking part in the discussion.
Sometimes if you make a sound, someone might call on you specifically to say something, especially if that’s not something you’re used to. If you were making a sound in agreement, just say that you “were agreeing with [insert topic or person here].”
If you have more to say, or want to contribute more than just agreement or disagreement, try Tip #3.
Tip #3: Prepare to Speak
Preparation, our best friend, is sooo helpful.
I actually got this advice from my college professor. I was double majoring in Spanish and ended up in a class with 95% heritage Spanish speakers.
I was intimidated and scared, and told him as much. His advice was to do all the readings and write down any questions I had and have them prepared for class – for every class. That way, I was participating and he would make the class answer my questions. He helped me establish my place in that class by doing my best behind the scenes. And it worked!
Well, I took that lesson and applied it to my professional life.
Before you have meetings, prepare and write any questions, comments, or concerns before the meeting. Often when I start to say something, my mind goes blank. I get a pang of nerves that throws me into a slow-motion world of anxiety-filled chaos, and I am more in my head than in the room. If that sounds familiar, then this should help.
As soon as “the floor is mine,” I just read what I’ve written. I don’t have to think in the moment, past-me already did. I just have to follow through.
Tip #4: Soft Socialization
Don’t underestimate the power of soft socializing. An easier way to keep in touch is writing.
Consider proactively reaching out to people via instant messaging or email. Show your personality and interests outside of the scheduled meetings. Send funny gifs (my favorite thing), ask how they are doing, follow up about something they said in a meeting that you appreciated.
This will help people form a connection with you, and let them know you are listening to them, so maybe they might do the same for you.
There is a lot to be gained by showing kindness and grace to others. Think about what you appreciate from others, and try offering those actions to others. Maybe they might learn how best to interact with you.
Another way to softly socialize is to invite a colleague out for coffee, lunch, or a walk. Sometimes it’s easier if you get to know people on a one-on-one basis. That’s fine! That way, you can work at your own pace.
My Introvert Administrative Experience
The world isn’t made for introverts, so I found ways to adapt and grow my socialization so far that people actually believe I’m an extrovert.
Believe it or not, you don’t have to change who you are in order to “fit in.” You just have to learn and practice a skill, and this is what I hope I showed you in this post.
Sometimes I’m offended when people who know me believe me to be an extrovert because it makes me feel as if they don’t know me, but I should actually be proud. Proud that my proficiency in communication is high enough that they don’t realize how hard I work every day at it.
Summary
I hope this post was helpful to my fellow introverted admins! While it takes time and work, it is possible. I’m proof that communication is simply a skill you can learn and practice. Follow these tips, adapting them as you need, and soon you’ll be on your way!
You aren’t betraying who you are; you are simply demonstrating a skill – a valuable skill. Remember to reward yourself as you progress and recognize how far you’ve come.
Some days will be easier than others, and sometimes you’ll feel you’re moving backwards than forwards. Be kind to yourself, and remember that this is a non-linear process. On this journey, there’s no failure, only progress.
If you never stop trying, you’ll succeed.
Photo by Elena Koycheva on Unsplash
