Hey psst! You, fellow admin! Tell me if you can relate with the paragraph below.
A PsychologyToday.com article states, “People who struggle with imposter syndrome believe that they are undeserving of their achievements and the high esteem in which they are, in fact, generally held. They feel that they aren’t as competent or intelligent as others might think—and that soon enough, people will discover the truth about them. Those with imposter syndrome are often well accomplished; they may hold high office or have numerous academic degrees.”
The impostor syndrome.
“Who am I to start a blog?”
When I spoke to my therapist about this blog, she said she is often reminded of the imposter syndrome. It’s true. She mentioned this term before and, hell, I even read it in other books, but it never really clicked before.
“I have to make sure it’s at the level of quality I expect of myself. Looking bad because of stupid mistakes really piss me off.”
That day, I apparently was feeling a bit more receptive and open to attempt explaining all the feelings and frustration inside of me. So after, I started to look for books on the imposter syndrome.
“Example, please!”
Most admins I know, including myself, can be a bit (or a crazy-serious kind) of a perfectionist. We obsess and beat ourselves up over every little missed detail, even though the project as a whole was superior.
You know that full multi-day conference you planned all by yourself? Yeah, on the day of the conference, you forgot to change the line spacing in the paragraph on the 8th page of the 24-page booklet you created from scratch.
Wow, you’re a terrible admin. How could anything think you’re a great admin anymore?? You failed. Who are you to say you’re great now? You’re now mediocre, right?
NO! You’re a bad ass!
This dialogue for admins is a persistent, negative silent mantra that your mind gets you to believe over time. Of course, you know the right things to say out loud, but inside you are hoping they don’t pull out that line spacing error to prove you’re not a great admin because that IS proof after all, right?
Also, no. Newsflash: You’re still a bad ass admin.
This is one example of the how the imposter syndrome hurts.
On to the Book Search!
In my search, I found a couple of books, but a juicy, profane-sounding book caught my attention.
The Middle Finger Project: Trash Your Imposter Syndrome and Live the Unf*ckwithable Life You Deserve.
Here’s my quick summary of The Middle Finger Project
Okay, let’s get this out of the way. It’s a self-help book.
No, I’m not ashamed to read self-help books if it HELPS MY SELF, and neither should you. Moving on!
The book is about the life and self-discovery of the author, Ash Ambirge (Am-burr-jay). Through her eyes, you get a better understanding of her circumstances, decisions, and mindset through major life changing moments. By the end, she tries to help the reader reconsider their mental framework in order to realize how to be their best versions of themselves.
My Assumptions
I was hoping it was going to be good because I hate to waste money. But who really knows what to expect? In the reviews, some people were singing the book’s praises, and some were not very impressed. I still had to try because I mean – profanity.
I assumed the book wouldn’t actually be helpful (I was just really hoping). How the hell do you tackle something as sneaky, debilitating, hateful, and rude as the imposter syndrome in 307 pages?! It’s just going to be some rich lady telling me some story of her life, that I couldn’t relate to.
I was pretty sure there was a (very) good possibility that I wasn’t going to finish the book, and it was just going to be “one more thing” I didn’t finish and feel guilty about.
But….PROfanity.
Then I thought, she must be a man-hating author who overdoes the cursing in an attempt to be unnecessarily badass. “Look Ash, I have plenty of reasons to be upset, I don’t want to listen to someone else’s reason to be angry with the world. I am trying to work on myself! I don’t want to be angry in order to grow. I want to be a happy (when I want to be), confident badass who can pursue the life I want!”
**whisper** Pro-fan-i-tyyy.
So, I bought the book and the audio book because, “Go hard or go home” y’all. Profanity is really my love language. Makes my heart go all fuzzy.
My Thoughts on “The Middle Finger Project”
As I write this we are in Month #: 1 million of the coronavirus pandemic, and sometimes I do miss being able to chat with mah girls, drink and be merry.
So please understand when I tell you that I stopped reading the book at Chapter 3 so I could listen to the audiobook. I did this for two reasons:
- The way the book is written, you know it’s going to be awesome to have the author say it to you because she is hilarious. The delivery is awesome.
- I just learned how to knit (thanks, COVID), and I wanted to make something beautiful (and in my heart, it was).
I regret nothing.
To hear her voice, with all the emotion, sarcasm, and biting sense of humor, gave me life. It honestly gave me the feeling of having mimosas with a blunt-speaking friend who is “a LOT” but is still soo refreshing because she “gets it.” I laughed out loud, and jotted funny things down that I FULLY intend to incorporate into daily vernacular.
I mean, one would hope it’d be funny. After all, it is called, “The Middle Finger Project.”
It wasn’t the self-help book that gives you homework to do, worksheets, assessments, or quizzes. You just listen and relate.
“…but I’m an admin, not an entrepreneur!”
Yes, you are an admin, and as one it is important to check in with yourself to see if you’re happy with the path and trajectory you’re on!
Plus, depending on your responsibilities, you might be already running your own organization in the background, anyway. Don’t be modest.
As most of us already know, most admin pathways grow little higher than where you currently are within the organization. The way “up” is not as clear in the administrative profession as other professions are.
No, I’m not telling you that moving up should be your goal. I’m suggesting that you check in with yourself to see if you are where you want to be.
Where you want to be could be the same job, but more pay. It could be same pay, but a better title. It could be both, or neither. It could be a whole new company, or your own!
I would love my fellow admins to read this book so they can get a fresh perspective to consider their own preferences and pursue the life they want, not what is given to us.
Most times, we’re able to look on the bright side of our job/work, and feel satisfaction (barring toxic environments which suck too hard to even be considered), and that’s awesome. But, we all know there are some days when we just need a little umph to get us through.
This is umph – refreshing umph.
Okay, I’m with you, but really…is this book for me?
This book is for you if you:
- are a “tell me like it is” type of person
- and [insert alcoholic beverage of choice] have a special love
- feel like you’re in a rut, and find yourself constantly in self-doubt and/or your circumstances. You know you are capable, but you just can’t seem to find the words to say to yourself out.
- are not sure about this or in general
- are happy and content. Get it for a fresh perspective. You know how valuable fresh perspectives are.
This is a book I wish I found when I first thought to start this blog.
I know I’ve mentioned profanity a lot, but she doesn’t overdo it (whereas I can easily don a sailor’s uniform and fit right in or even make ’em blush). I just am tickled because they’re in there. It’s like finding gooey melted chocolate spots in a warm brownie.
It’s not suitable for kids due to the profanity, but it’s suitable for you.
I still cannot believe I liked this book as much as I did, but I’m really glad I did. I needed a jolt to the system, and I got it.
My rating: 4.5/5 stars
The Middle Finger Project is available on Amazon.
I really appreciate you being here and hope you are enjoying my blog!
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